On Being Myself

People have told me when you're applying for something, don’t use humor, shave your beard (then regrow it later), basically kiss ass, talk about yourself with confidence in order to get hired – brag about your accomplishments. Unfortunately, I say that’s just not me. I don’t brag, I use self-depreciating humor and I won’t change a damn thing about myself just to please a fucking recruiter. If they’re not happy with me now, they never will be when they find out who I really am. Recruiters have the nerve to say I'm not good for a position, or I "didn't do well" on my phone interview after speaking with me for 5 minutes – after I’ve opened up to them – how dare they claim to know me?

OK. Maybe I don’t take rejection all that well; and unfortunately rejection is a big part of just being alive. Yes I take things personally because I take them seriously. I’m not a damn sales rep who will just move on with indifference. Granted, I’m also far from perfect. I have a lot to learn, a lot about myself that needs changing and refining, but I embrace constructive criticism.

Real mentors, those whose life experience is an asset they are willing to share with others and help them grow, are a dying breed. Recruiters, these motherfuckers are out for the sweet commission and will dump you like a ton of bricks if they think you’ll make them look bad.

So I’m continuing on this journey in search of gainful employment. It’s stressful to think that I haven’t found a decent job yet, knowing that I’ve turned down a couple which didn’t pay nearly enough. One involved selling to my friends, which is just not going to happen. I don’t think there’s a selling bone in body – I’m useless at embellishing (if something is truly beautiful, it can stand on its own merits).

Besides the stress and the rejection, I have also realized that I’m probably cut out for accounting after all, due to my boring, analytic, personality. It looks as though I'll be stuck in a cube for the next 30 years. So be it. At least there’s good money in accounting.


Further on up the road said...

There is good money in accounting.

I admire you for your strength in sticking to your principles. However in reality we need income to live in this society - in general unless you plan to really go left field and therefore you need the job.

I often desire giving up the job in the office building and doing something more me, more creative, more independent etc. But I'm not a risk taker by nature and I have a duty to the family more than anything to provide the best I can.

At the end - it's only a job...

MadMerv said...

On the bright side I'm not in debt, a happy family, and enormous potential (not to mention ego). Unfortunately what I need is experience with a relevant degree (B.S. in pottery just won't cut it I'm afraid).

That's for the reminder though. It's only a job - this will be my mantra from now on.

liz said...

I was wondering how you were doing..sorry I haven't visited lately.
I could understand you not wanting to compromise your principals too much..they are what makes you...you.
Finding the right job is never easy, but hang in there..it'll happen!


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